I'VE GONE COMPLETELY FUCKING MENTAL

first off, i would like to address the individual (or individuals) who thought it best to post spam on my blog disguised as an authentic comment: please return to the putrid, lice-infested vomitorium from which you emerged so that you may die an agonizing death paralyzed from the neck down while large, rabid swamprats feast and commune within your entrails and crows pick the skin from your bones.

die, die, die.

now that i've dispatched that particular piece of unpleasantness, i shall continue on to the more pressing matter of my going completely fucking mental. you see, my friends, i have gone completely fucking mental. in the span of three days i willed myself to (oft times drunkenly) assemble all my worldly shit, send it westward, quit my job, drive a thousand goddamn miles (totally and completely car-tarded), move in with my parents, get semi-drunk, and attempt to publicly re-hash these events with the hope i will eventually wake up to the fact that, yes, this actually did happen and, no, tammy faye baker will not appear and titter, you don't need to be helped any longer, you've always had the power to go back to kansas...

that's right, i just quoted the wizard of oz, and no, i don't know why tammy faye is glinda. it's my dream, fuckers.

it really sucks though, leaving everyone behind. i sent E and DMC back to boston yesterday, and this is the first time i've had the chance to sit down and assess the damage. thankfully mom and dad went and got themselves cable and DSL, so i can at least watch Hogan Knows Best and check up on my favorite nudie websites, though they both have failed to bring me the kind of joy i've come to expect.

no more Redbones, no more Thai dish, no more buffalo burgers and jack daniels at Joshua Tree for Sox games, no more Fenway, no more T, no more Barking Crab, Border Cafe, John Harvard's, Grafton St., Burren, Sligo... no more bitchy Cambridge chicks, no more slutty Faneuil Hall girls, no more chubby Davis babes, no more Harvard smarties, no more BU hotties... no more swanky redline, no more slow-ass green line, no more people-watching on Newbury, no more skateboarding on memorial drive on sundays, no more beach days in Glouster, no more pissing on national landmarks in Cambridge, no more Vermont road trips, no more mountainclimbing in NH, trivia night, getting fucked up on back bay roofdecks, house parties in allston, frat parties in somerville, mike's cannoli in the north end, scorpion bowls in cambridge, hangover after hangover after hangover....

coffee at 9am, whole foods at 6pm, on demand in bed by 10pm.... driving over the mass ave bridge to work at sunrise, waking up happy, fucking around mercilessly at a fortune 500 company, working hard, playing hard, loving hard, bitching, kicking, screaming, and having such a good goddamn time, i feel like i'm nuts to let it all slide.

i do love that dirty water...

on the other side of this bitter little coin, i find a warm welcome here in wisco. i can't help but think that in the midst of all the insanity of the past two years, i've managed to find the precise people i was looking for; those that, when i go back, will behave as if nothing at all has transpired in the meantime. it's like that here, now, giving me just the proper amount of egocentricity to believe that i actually matter in the greater whirlwind of all this madness.

farewell and best wishes to all. it's been a great fucking wild ride.

California, you're my new bitch. brace yourself, sweetheart....