I AM BEING WATCHED

Did you ever get the feeling you are either 1) being watched intently by some greater intelligence, 2) dreaming your own reality into existence, 3) drunk and hallucinating, or 4) perhaps some combination of the three?

This occurred to me yesterday while trying to come up with a Judaica-themed wedding gift for my Judaica-themed newlyweds. Where does one find a nice Kiddush cup? A Hoshen Tallit bag? An Aishes Chayil Tzedakah Box? Clearly these are items one does not find at your local Crate and Barrel.

As I was hoisting my 4th Yuengling to my parched lips, I felt a strange tapping on the left hemisphere of my brain. I looked behind me, but found no inquisitor. Tap, tap, tap went the invisible fingers, but this time while I stood to confront my tormentor, my gaze snagged on an eerie sight.

There, hanging from the overpass next to the bar, fluttered a stunning banner that read:

JEWISH WEDDING GIFT FAIR

Now, I've seen a lot of crazy things in my life, but I've never even heard of a Jewish wedding gift fair before. Did I just do that with my mind? Should someone with my police record be granted such divine powers? Maybe it's time I had a nervous breakdown, shaved my head, and spend 6 extra special hours in rehab.

It is Thursday after all.