NASA PAL

By now many of you have heard about the attempted kidnapping by a bediapered, lovesick ex-astronaut, Lisa Marie Nowak (as if I really needed to be specific). The New York Times article about this twisted event spends what I would consider to be a little too much time on the fact that Nowak, to avoid losing time with those pesky bathroom breaks between, wore adult diapers on her kidnapping trip from Huston and Orlando.

The diapers are mentioned twice in the article before we actually get the details of the attempted kidnapping. It's as if we were willing to downplay Nowak's behavior as that of a jilted lover, "but she wore adult diapers so she wouldn't have to stop to use the bathroom? Why she must be completely insane!" Diapers on a grown woman (gasp!)!

I'm not exactly a "scientist" or "spaceman" or "can read at or above a 4th grade level," but I find it strange the New York Times spent exactly zero time on how Nowak drove 960 miles without stopping for gas! Surely you must wonder why she wore diapers knowing full well gas stations are the pee-break oases of the Western world. Interesting!

Maybe Nowak was testing out some super-secret NASA technology that allows a person to travel extreme distances without stopping to refuel!

1) "Astronauts wear diapers during launch and re-entry." According to MSN.
2) Nowak, living in Texas, doesn't know about the Stadium Gal?! Ho ho! I don't think so!

Conspiracy theorists start your nerdy engines! My guess? A Mysterious space virus implanted while on a super-secret mission to consort with other intergalactic space travelers drove her mad when exposed to Earth's mild gravitational field and yellow sun! That's my guess, but I'm too lazy to read past "diapers."