TWISTED, SISTER

Dear mob psychologists-

I have just set a friendly dinner date with my ex's sister. I'll have to check the manual, but I do believe this crosses into "sort of uncool" territory, if only because I'm 1% doing it to bother my ex-girlfriend (who doesn't pay attention to me, and I hate it when I don't get enough attention. Wah. Wah.). I can tell from your gasps, your forehead-slapping, your clawing-at-your-chest in anguish, that you would never, ever believe I would behave in such a childish, petty way. Keep in mind, dearest readers, I just now recovered from my gasping, teary-eyed laugh attack upon seeing "Utility Rack" printed in my US Forestry Supplies Catalog ($16.75 in Metric or English units). Hee hee.... "Rack." Such things are not beneath me.

Despite the fact that I genuinely do enjoy the company of Sister #2, I can't help but feel the slightest pangs of guilt tickle my spine when I think that perhaps Sister #1 will be irked by my platonic tête-à-tête with her kin. I am so ashamed, though I have nothing to worry about. Even the most oblivious, AU Sorority Whore, Freshman Communications-cum-Psych major would tell me to quit having such a high opinion of myself. She'd tell me how arrogant I am for thinking my behavior could have even the slightest effect on my ex-girlfriend, and that I should grow up and quit playing childish games. She would shake her head and cluck her tongue thinking how pathetic the creature cowering before her. "Get over it, you sad little Magina, you," she would say, and rightfully so.

I would, however, be quite justified in countering her comments with the, "C'mon, it's me" defense. I mean, I did hit on the Scabies-Tea Girl.

Now that I've gotten that off my chest I can get back to my regularly scheduled man-whoring. It's good to be the King.