MMM, MMMMM MYSTERIOUS TEA

This is truly the strangest life I have ever known. Tonight I bask in the gentle glow of my favorite tea shop (free wireless and drinks if you flirt with the owner... "I'm sweet enough already, thank you" is such a great sleaze-ball line when she asks you if you want sugar in your tea. Swear to God, women are retarded sometimes), but this time, friends, this time I have to wonder. The mousy Tea Girl who makes me my oolong launched into the most elaborate and unsolicited one-sided conversation with me tonight, increasing by great orders of magnitude the number of words she's ever spoken in my presence. Of course, I hadn't expected any of these words to be "I mean it's Tuesday and I have scabies already!"

Beg your pardon?

Oh yes, there were scabies. And she showed them to me. She's right; she has scabies.

So here I sit, motionless, in quiet repose, eye to eye with the mysterious tea she just delivered to me with a wink, saying nothing, thinking only:

"you know... it is only Tuesday..."