HOLY FUCK

ummm... speaking of things that happened between 1980 and 1989, but just fucking barely, i've just discovered brooke hogan was born in 1988.

1988. that's nineteen eighty-eight.

now, i'll admit there are a number of things wrong with that, not the least of which is my comment about 'building a lasting masturbation fantasy' about a girl i assumed was well into her twenties who, in fact, is only seventeen years old.

but more importantly, i had my first fucking ten-speed by 1988 when brooke hogan was born. it was made by Huffy. it was the fucking tits.

without pointing out that, according to UK standards, i am technically not a pedophile, i think i'll just end this auto-conversation and start fresh tomorrow.

god i hope nicole richie's not jailbait...