GROETEN VAN PARADIJS, BITCHES!!

greetings all, and welcome to the first correspondence from my wicked awesome tropical paradise.

i haven't really gotten a chance to collect my thoughts over the past few days, but i did manage to take some notes...

ahem...

"very nice here. ocean is spectacular. local food good; i'm a big fan of the seasonal fish... mostly wahoo. many lizards on the island, predominantly whiptails and iguanas. i am completely and totally surrounded by dutch women. they are cheerful, fit, and prefer to sunbathe/kayak naked. well done there, netherlands. perhaps i will find myself a fine wife here. honestly, they're everywhere. i am happy ."

oh, and did i mention i'm surrounded by dutch women? allow me to reiterate. there are dutch women everywhere. yahoo for me! both the men and women speak a bit of english, but they seem perfectly content with my generic response to their queries: "how 'bout NO, you crazy dutch bastard?!" yea, they love that one.

the water is, of course, friggen' spectacular, and i've logged almost an entire day's worth of bottom time in the past five days. simultaneously, i've managed to finish off three and a half litres of venezualan rum the local bottle shop sells for 15 guilder. the combination has left my mouth tasting vaguely of whiskey and plasma which, in my current inebriated state, lends a piquant, after-dinner flavor to the pan-seared tuna i had for dinner.

that's about the best i can do, sadly, since my brain, no doubt, is filling with tiny bubbles at the moment. not to worry, though, i'm content to languish in the idle vacuousness of island life.... you know, like gauguin...

...but without the syphilis of course...

sleep tight...