RETURN THY PANTS, SATAN

my pants were gone for 24 hours. i did not know where they had gone. i searched high and low calling, "ahoy, pants! ahoy!" but to no avail. i lost them sometime last night, though i can't say where. i suspect i had been drinking.

well...

i woke up drunk this morning, so i deduce that i had been drinking, though my memory will not confirm such activity. all i know for sure is that landing the drunk-sober-hungover trifecta during a 9am microbiology class is too jarring for even my hearty soul.

ahhhhh, the barbarism. long live the barbarian, i. what shall we do when life hands us barbarians? why, we make barbarry jam, that's what! ho ho!

ugh. am i proud of myself, you say? i say nay. nay i say! methinks things are getting just a touch out of control, and i may have to bring things back to neutral with a surprise visit to the outside. maybe a solo trip to big sur? a quick jog up mt. tamalpais perhaps?

it's funny how i was just saying to myself how normal i've become lately. well... all prayers are answered, i suppose, but only in the order in which they're received.

this should do for now:

Two dozen other dirty lovers
Must be a sucker for it
Cry, Cry, but I don't need no mother
Just hold my hand while I come
To a decision on it

Sooner or later
Your legs give way, you hit the ground
Save it for later
Don't run away and let me down
Sooner or later
You hit the deck, you get found out
Save it for later
Don't run away and let me down
You let me down

Black air and seven seas and rotten through
But what can you do?
I don't know how I'm meant to act with you lot
Sometimes I don't try
I just now, now, now, now, now

Two dozen other stupid reasons
Why we should suffer for this
Don't bother trying to explain them
Just hold my hand while I come
To a decision on it...