DEAR BITCHES

dear fuckwads at the state of the union address-

please hold your goddamn motherfucking applause until the end. seriously, i've had to take, like 15 bathroom breaks. knock it off.

love-
one of the upteengazillion kids playing drinking games to your crappy SOTU address

ps. honest to god, i would have actually been impressed with "my fellow americans, I'M RIIIICH, BEEOTTTCH!" boom. in, out, 3 minutes, no goddamn clapping.

if anybody needs me, i'll be in the kitchen booting up black tar heroin.