(A FEW OF MY) FAVORITE THINGS

everyone's always talking about their favorite songs, like, "oh give me your 10 favorite songs" or "what's the best song every written," and i think that's just plain lazy. asking somebody to give you their ten favorite songs is like asking them to tell you the ten favorite breasts they've felt in their lifetime. there are so many good ones, and you can't very well just rank them without devaluing their individual merit. far more revealing of a person's character is their ten favorite smells, which i will now contribute below:

1. woodsmoke, preferably in the wintertime
2. a new box of crayola crayons, not the crappy 24 box that all the poor kids had, but a good 64 or 128 box (why multiples of 8, i couldn't say... where the hell is dan brown when you actually need that fucking guy?)
3. eucalyptus or tea tree oil
4. Johnsonville bratwurst boiling in MGD and onions on a charcoal grill
5. Coolwater for Women... ahhhhhh highschool
6. the ocean. no discussion.
7. old books, especially if you can get your hands on a first edition with high linen content
8. new car, leather is best
9. orange tic-tacs... what is the deal with that?
10. freshly-washed sheets that have been line-dried in the sun

there. psychoanalyze, contribute, discuss.