HOUSE CLEANING

a few of you have asked me what i meant by "smart girl box" in the previous post, and i've spent a couple of sleepless nights thinking about a good response... i understand there was some ambiguity in the phrase, and you may have thought i meant "smart girl-box" (implying some inherent intelligence in the cash register itself), but i assure you i mean only that i want to know the vagina i'm looking at is attached to something worthwhile.

i've been going to the gym pretty regularly lately, so i've been noticing a lot of repeat customers... there's a strange culture among some of the hardcore bodybuilders there, they seem to spend an inordinate amount of time in front of the mirror proportionate to the amount of time spent lifting things and putting them back down again. i started thinking, are these guys so cockdiesel'd up they actually turn themselves on? which, of course, led me to think, do they go home, look in the mirror and vigorously masturbate?! good heavens!! but i figured if i were hot enough to turn myself on, i'd probably do the same. in honor of that i shall henceforth refer to masturbation as "HOT ME ON ME ACTION."

by the way, i'm really fed up with michelob ultra adds with svelt swimmers and triatheletes... it should be:
if you're a girl, and you're in college, and you don't want to get a big, huge, fat ass... drink michelob ultra.
now that'd be a good add.

and at least i never slept with lumbergh.