BUTTSEX ETIQUETTE

many schools offer a brief tutorial on how to behave like a proper human being (and not the wretched beast i know you are) when dining with a boss or potential employer in which one learns how to eat and drink according to a trusted set of guidelines that we refer to as "etiquette." i believe that such guidelines exist in every imaginable social situation... like assfucking. why shouldn't we, as a civilized culture, have a specific set of rules for courteously and thoughtfully fucking another person in the ass? as of today, the consensus among those polled is a resounding "on" vs. "in" for where a man should finish (the overwhelming majority of mainstream porn actors, writers, and directors seem to agree on this point... the idea for this post originated there, so let's take a moment to appreciate what this multi-billion dollar industry has done for this great civilization). what else would Emily Post (should she ever have expounded on such a ribald topic) say on the subject?

and while we're on the subject, let's take a moment to wish one of my dearest friends the best of luck on the MCATs. i hope they at least buy you dinner before "finishing." good luck, pal.