CULTASTIC-O!!

now, i'm not one to dictate how other people should behave in polite society, nor do i feel i have a particularly strong grasp of PR, specifically as it applies to the film industry and talent management, but i will say this:

she's your sister, Tom, but fire that fucking knobgobblin for letting you say such idiotic things in public.

we've had a great ride together, haven't we tom? i was up there with you in that 4-G negative dive giving the bird to those anonymously evil russians in that MIG 28. i was with you in that courtroom and no... no, i couldn't handle the truth, no sir i could not. i stood with you, defiantly, when that dirty, old bastard paul newman threatened to take away your magnificent Meucci pool cue. i watched you bang rebecca de mornay, elizabeth shue, and nicole kidman... what happened?

you fired your old publicist because you wanted to get all scientology on us... now you're all up in matt lauer's grill over the history of psychology? for shame. matt lauer, for pete's sake. did anyone else picture the two of them on some scaffold in the air, matt lauer's hand is about to get sliced off, tom's wearing black flowing robes and he's standing above matt, threatening him with a clenched fist, and he says:

"you don't.... know.... the powwwwwer, of the daaaaark side"

i felt the same way when i found out mel gibson's all religious because his dad's a holocaust denier.

couldn't you just be content to eat vanilla ice cream off katie holmes' ass? i know i would.