SIM-MY-APARTMENT

(note: the author is drunk as an irish priest and listening to New Order again... how charming!)

i live in an incredibly dense collection of triple-decker apartments, and my neighbors' lives are quite available for inspection if one has the time and opportunity. tonight i went to brush my teeth and, feeling no need to turn on the bathroom lights, stood in the dark staring out the window weaving ever-so-slightly back and forth with the gentle rhythm of the toothbrushing. some subtle movement caught my eye, and i noticed a young woman in the apartment across the alley washing the evening's dishes in her kitchen. like a young kid marveling over the toil of ants in his toy farm, i found myself enthralled with this everyday task this woman performed. before you rush to judgment, like, 'oh he's so creepy and illegal' and all that, think about how stupid-yet-multi-million-dollar-lucrative that goddamn Sim series is.... i mean, for fuck sake, how many people watch reality shows in this fantabulous country?

anyway, i think maybe i should have gotten excited over the whole voyeuristic experience, but instead i came to the conclusion that watching someone wash dishes is just slightly less interesting than actually washing those very same dirty dishes. in short, i think we all should start doing interesting things in the privacy of our own homes on the off chance that at some point, some lucky bastard will catch us in the act.

might as well give 'em a thrill, eh?

or maybe my expectations are violently skewed by porn.... will have to think about that one.