Do you ever wonder who takes the time to read this self-indulgent bitchfest fine literary journal?
Apparently Mel doesn't like raisins on her fruit salad. And I don't mean Mel doesn't like (quote) rasins on her fruit salad (endquote) if you know what I mean heh heh heh. I mean my girl hates those sinister little yoda-grapes on her fruit salad.
After reading this, I'm feeling all funky and whatnot, so I will make Melle Mel (It's like a jungle some times, it makes me wonder...) a Funkee Fruit Salad:
Mel's Funkee Fruit Salad will have:
Starfruit: SuperFly Kung-Fu ninjas break through your kitchen windows and, like, totally lose it on some starfruit with their Kinky Katana Blades of Justice. Then they take the starfruit slices and chuck them like Neon Ninja Stars of Truth at yo' fruit salad, ending the age-old fued between the Cosmic Cobra dojo and the Sonic Cheetah dojo. Rock solid.
Grapefruit: because the french word for grapefruit is so awesome it hurts. I'd slice up pieces of grapefruit and slam them into the bowl with a wicked 360 Airwalk dunk and just hang there on the rim, all, like, taunting everyone and yelling, "pamplemousse, bitches!!"
Ribs: Because nothin' says Bitch I love yo' sweet ass like a big pile of barbecue ribs. Yea, it's a fruit salad, but ol' Dr. von Huge-n'-stein wants to wrap his BigDaddyKane gums around some hambone Memphis bar-be-cue. Dig? Make way for the von HUGE n' stein.
Now if that fruit salad doesn't scream, baby let's superfreak eachother all night long, I guess I just don't know romance.
Somebody please sleep with me!
11.05.2006
GUEST POST FOR MEL-I-OH YEA.
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3 comments:
my pumpernickel pumafriend (cuz rye bread is sooooo last channukah…):
not to worry. that fruit/beast salad portends soft soulful neighing between the sheets of your cosmic chesterbed…a comma in your herstory, if you will.
i have this medical condition, see, that can only be remedied by pb n’ j sammiches, made with real skippy, by a whirling dervishly delish wildcat. or a lithe battleaxe rockin a doober. http://doober.com/instruct.html
i’m just sayin.
much nub,
~subterranean soul dragon
big ups to meldogg for finding the [doober] strap. she really is a subterranean soul dragon and so much more.
mel, we *will* take you to half moon bay and show you around.
Hey, you know what they say... See a broad, to get that booty yak 'em? Leg 'er down 'n smack 'em yak 'em.
Cold, got to be, you know? Shiiiit.
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