THE BLOODY MARY

can i just tell you that i feel like i've just discovered the goddamn meaning of life? a friend of mine made me the best goddamn bloody mary i've ever had, and he didn't even get to put in all the ingredients! it's the horseradish, people! it's the horseradish that makes my tongue dance like a twisted little meth-addict sugarplum fairy!! oh sweet rapture, horseradish, sweet golden dreams of naked angels and warm olalaberry pie!!! wait.... do i sound like a raving alcoholic or what? on the other hand, i'd trade my TV for just one luscious gallon of E's bloody mary, and that thing picks up and descrambles satellite signals from fucking outer space, people! hooo-yea.