THE MEAT BUFFET

i should point out that i was a vegetarian for about 18 months; i put the last nail in that coffin when i went to greenfield for the all-you-can-eat meat buffet on monday. of course, i've eaten plenty of meat since i fell off the meat wagon (ew! but clever!), but never have i ever eaten three chicken hearts in one mouthful. hell, i didn't even know you could eat chicken hearts... i was tricked into it anyway... whatever. i went with a colleague of mine that shares my thou-shalt-never-half-ass-anything mentality, and we went in with our goddamn guns blazing. dudes come by with giant knives and skewers with dripping fricken chunks of marinated meet to slice off a piece a' dat, to serve you a greasy slab 'o ticker-bustin skin biscuits... ugh. my large intestine just twisted itself into a cheap-ass circus balloon poodle. two goddamn words people: MEAT HANGOVER.