12.10.2004

THE INTERNET

i failed to find a single sex toy online that appealed to me... apparently, the majority of sex toys on the market are designed for women's, shall we say, 'less accessable' pleasure. men, it seems, are much easier to please without mechanical intervention. i did, however, find a whopping majority of really hardcore pornography which, of course, failed to surprise me in the least. i started thinking that there should be a lot, a lot, more softcore pornography in the mainstream. take las vegas as an example; with few exceptions, every billboard within 10 miles of the strip features extremely attractive women (and men i'm told) in extremely attractive poses wearing extremely attractive clothing (not prominently featured). while this display does, indeed, promote thoughts of nasty, nasty sex, the billboards are far from taboo. this is what many social conservatives (oh let's just pick jerry falwell for a fun example) call the 'corruption of american values,' and what i call the 'humanization of our culture.' here's my plan: mainstream sex that is not sensationalized does not exist, and the majority of commercially available sex forums fall into the 'sin city' column; therefore, i propose to increase the proportion of softcore, artistic 'pornography' (aka NUDITY) in this fair city of mine. i vow to be naked in public at least once a month until i leave this place, hopefully better than i found it. furthermore, i will post photographic proof of my gurilla sexification to show all of you that the sight of a naked person may not ispire thougts of nasty sex!! (ha!). my fellow americans, join me- do your part to clean up sex and bring it to the mainstream. especially if you have really nice boobs.

3 comments:

J said...

So you're telling me that you're going to show your nakedness off once a month? Will you be eviting this occassion? Might make a good profit. I can see it now... NakedNav Expose.

Peter said...

then that's it--i'll be flying out once a month to see savvy navvy run around with a mini-elephantine trunk swinging between his legs, and i'll join him! hello anna's taqueria! hello thirsty scholar! heeellllooooo hi-fi pizza! we are naked... in boston.

reckless said...

ry, you're not trying.

"Designed for discreet storage, the Chocolate Butt is guaranteed to give you hours of pleasure."

i'm saving it for when i know i've truly 'arrived'--my first pulitzer, a grammy, beating dragon warrior 3. i want to feel like i've earned it.