i•ro•ny

i will now define irony as it pertains to my current situation

1. i'm alone in my apartment. i can't leave, and i'm planning on staying in bed all day. it's painful to put clothes on. i don't have a girlfriend, but i do have a high-speed internet connection. i'm bored.

2. acute trauma to the lower spinal column inhibits sustained sympathetic stimulation of the lower appendages. muscle relaxants and other like-prescribed pain killers can deter the large rush of blood to certain areas in order to prevent excessive swelling.

i, dear friends, have discovered hell.