BIGGER BOOBS = BETTER PLAY

goddamnit, as long as i can't do a goddamn thing today i might as well continue the travelogue from last weekend. it's the least i can do for you. actually the least i could do would be absolutely nothing, but then i'd be a dick.

i used to be a fat, lazy bastard, then i joined a gym and now i'm less of a fat, lazy bastard. a few of you have noticed (thank you!), but few have gone so far as to grope me and encourage others to grope me than the birthday girl, herself... reg, i don't know what compelled you to fondle my chest as if such things were appropriate behavior, but then to make strange women massage my (lightly intoxicated) body? that's just insanity! i mean, honestly, we belong to the same church congregation! (the name escapes me at the moment, but that's neither here nor there).

let's not for one itty-bitty second pretend that i didn't like it, but let's not ignore the important issue it brings to the table.... i'm trying to promote the image of pretend man-whore, not actual man-whore (much like the difference between executive transvestite and weirdo transvestite, agreed?). OR, as i implore you to either defend or refute, am i, in fact, an actual man-whore? because i have learned, as billions of women have already realized, if you have boobs, you hold the keys to the universe.

reckless, i expect no fewer than 1000 words on that last point...

happy birthday, reg. thanks for an awesome time in chicago.

neil, flying across the country for a fiesta is completely underrated.