ONE MOTHERFUCKING NORDSTROM TOO MANY

i had never been to the oak brook mall until that night...
for those of you who have never made the pilgrimage to this place, i suggest you bring a sturdy pair of walking shoes and a three-day supply of fresh drinking water. oak brook plaza is roughly the same size and shape as the vatican, with it's own plutocratic government (lord & taylor playing a larger role in policy-making than say an old navy), it's own law enforcement, chamber of commerce, and an impressive foreign policy based on land acquisition and import/export monopoly. in short, the oak brook mall is the shittiest place on earth to try and locate another person.

says i to N: i'm outside the tj maxx by nordstrom
says N to i: are you in the inner circle, the outer ring, or the outside outside ring?
i to N: there's an inner circle? like a coven?
N to i: sort of... there is a massive parking structure there...
i to N: parking?
N to i: yes, which part are you in
i: outside between the stores and the parking lot. what do you see?
N: endless rows of stores... it's like the matrix in here.... there's a parking lot?
i: yes, by nordstrom.... it's on the corner.... if you can just find the fucking nordstrom, we'll be fine. just drive to the goddamn nordstrom, goddamn you!
N: i just passed two nordstroms... so help me god, i think they're multiplying...

and that's how i knew i had reached the end of the universe.